Im a Recovering Vegetarian
Posted 3 days ago with 207,960 notes from dakotes-mcgoats
  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this
#about me
Posted 3 days ago with 8,732 notes from raysperson

Richard Ayoade on 50 Shades of Grey trailer

Posted 4 days ago with 21,101 notes from yall-mothafuckas-need-misha
Posted 5 days ago with 151,021 notes from the-hero-of-ages



a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

Posted 5 days ago with 56,367 notes from kazurinsky
whatever happened to body glitter? what ever happened to body glitter? why are we so afraid to shine
Posted 5 days ago with 2,850 notes from mattyberninger

"I’m not going to say I haven’t done stupid things. I have. I’ve done stupid things, really stupid. But I was trying to help people. And I, you know, it just got… Kind of like when your car goes into a skid and they tell you, you know, ‘turn into the skid’, and then, you find yourself coasting - trying to hang on and hoping that somehow you’ll straighten out before you… get to the edge." 

Posted 5 days ago with 8,557 notes from the-hero-of-ages







Idris Elba

This man is seriously a paragon.

Not fair


Fuck he’s fine!

#idris elba
Posted 5 days ago with 924 notes from dundermifflinscranton
#the office
Posted 1 week ago with 3,254 notes from tastefullyoffensive


Watch dog. [bizarrocomics]

Posted 1 week ago with 164,043 notes from bolandoando


generic brand

#this was my favorite joke on the show
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